Tied to the mast
…but orange now and black

The Jar

You wouldn’t know it to look at it, but this Bar-B-Q Sauce jar has been implicated in more murders than John Wayne Gacy. The story of the jar revolves around “Wonderful America B-B-Q Ribs Restaurant,” a US-themed place owned by an elderly couple in the outskirts of Osaka Japan, just off a busy exit from the main north-bound highway. The couple had bought the jar on their honeymoon in California in 1954.

Up until her arrest three years ago, the restaurant was run by their now twenty-eight year old granddaughter, Miki. Miki had been a bio-chemistry student at Nagoya University when her parents died in 2001. The circumstances surrounding their deaths were odd but hardly bizarreyour basic hit and run. They’d just locked up and were walking across the parking lot in front of the restaurant when a 1998 silver Civic Ferio screeched in off of the ramp, off the road and into them, killing them both instantly. The moment was caught by two security cameras, but thanks to poor resolution and light, neither managed to capture the car’s license plates nor the driver’s face. The culprit has yet to be found.

Miki was devastated by the news, which found her in the middle of exams in her second to last term. She immediately dropped out and came home to live with her grandparents. They were sympathetic and indulged her grief, thinking she would go back to school soon enough. She never did.

A Criminal Investigation Bureau press release said that it was two years later that the first silver 1998 Civic Ferio with a confirmed immediate “Wonderful America B-B-Q Ribs Restaurant” connection crashed, this one about 45 miles down the highway (a bill retrieved from the driver’s wallet was found in the local precinct’s archives). Before suspicion was finally raised three years later, a total of 21 Ferios had crashed and 36 people had died in connection with the restaurant.

Upon her arrest Miki admitted to everything. She’d decided to take revenge on the car a year after moving back in with her grandparents, and had spent nine months synthesizing an adequately tasteless chemical solution that, when diluted in barbecue sauce, would have the delayed but sudden soporific effect she was looking for. She’d kept the chemical-laced sauce in the heirloom Bar-B-Q Sauce jar, hidden in a mini fridge in the managers’ officepainting ribs with its contents only when she saw a car of the right make, model,  year, and color pull into the lot.

As of writing this, Miki has served two and a half years of her life sentence. Her grandparents, out of shame, have yet to visit. In fact, shortly after her arrest they sold the restaurant, as well as every other possession they associated with their granddaughter. I bought the jar directly from Obaasan Mineko (Miki’s grandmother) who told me about its original purchase in America. It was only later, in reading through police, court, and news reports on-line, that I filled in the rest.

Now this murder weapon can be yours! Act fast, and bid high.


Note: This was my unsuccessful entry to this.


3 Responses to “The Jar”

  1. Bout time. I almost entered that.

  2. I LOVE IT!! Dude, way better than the winner. Sorry, Slate.

  3. 😀

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