Tied to the mast
…but orange now and black

Petition for… a better class of pay-per-view pornography? (Explicit)

PetitionOnline.com provide’s a pretty awesome look at society’s various grievances. This dude‘s got the ‘should’ of pr0n figured out…

To:  The Federal Communications Commission (FCC)

Dear FCC,
I want better pornography available to me on pay-per-view. I am an adult and I accept that if I have children I am responsible for what they see on television. Though irresponsible others may not want to be held accountable for non-adults in their homes this does not substantiate the lack of quality pornography available through cable and satellite programming on a pay-per-view basis.

Quality porn programming should include the following criteria:

• A greater than 80% ratio in favor of sexually active content to non-sexual content within the movie.
• A greater than 40% ratio within the sexual content of close-ups of actual human genitalia.

That’s right, 32% of pay-per-view porn should be composed of genital close-ups…

• Current films, copy written from within the last year of air date.
• Racial groups represented in the films available should represent an accurate reflection of the population by percentage. This can be tallied on an actor by actor basis and not film by film.

This shall also include a greater availability of the following contemporary sexual acts that would include but is not limited to the following:

• esophageal penetration or “deep throat”
• “double” penetration
• “triple” penetration also known as “air tights.”
• anal penetration and/or intercourse
• ejaculation (male and female)
• ejaculation on the faces of others or “facials”
• ingestion of said ejaculation or “swallowing”
• rape fantasies
• bondage

Please adjust your guidelines and allow my local cable or satellite provider to make these programs available to me and other paying adults in my community.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

I didn’t realize that rape fantasy porn wasn’t keeping up with demand.

One-hundred and twenty-four had signed at time of writing.

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